going through never-ending struggles and battles really tests how prepared are you for this weird and mysterious life, how humble you are for being alive, enjoying little things and so on.

and after this complicated period of growing stronger as a character, you have this period of ease (e.g.,  it's spring, you're sitting outside on a porch drinking beer and playing the guitar while looking at the stars) when you overthink the stuff that has happened, you think through the struggle period you have gone through.

and sometimes the weirdest thing occurs - you sit there, overthink it through, let your mind flow through that thought and then you feel like you haven't accomplished anything big, really or anything at all. 

yet at the same time you know that it was a big deal and you've accomplished something very important.


can't wait to be in the period at ease though. can't wait for the spring and I kind of want some beer as well