i don't even know.

If you ever want to take something, don't take too much, because too much can seriously damage you.

that is the lesson that I am learning right now.

It's 22:32 and while Phoenix is playing, I am thinking through everything. That has passed and what is about to come.

What is about to come :  On Friday, there's going to be a little celebration for the little kids at my school since it's Latvia's birthday coming. Also two tests on which lesson's I have actually been to and a play in which I have a role in after some hours after that play in a COMPLETE FREAKING SCHOOL WHICH IS AN HOUR AWAY. maybe I am overexaggerating, but it feels like it right now. Complete rush from one place to another. Also, what will I give as a present to my sweet friend that is turning 16? I don't have enough money to afford something. I have to learn my 'homework' on the guitar till Saturday. I started only today and if I want to have a very progressive learning and stuff. I wish I had the camera and I could've shown you my planner. Yeah, it's pretty.. overwritten? what is this adjective I am using idek

What has happened : On September I whined about the fact that I have nothing else to do besides learning and studying and finishing homework. I wanted a hobby or a free time taker, y'know, some music lessons or something like that because I love the feeling of being busy. It's ... magnificent. 
Also, it felt weird to have nothing to do because I was so used to the fact that I have art school after the 'ordinary school' and I was used to this timetable for 4 years. In these years I changed very harshly and somewhat gradually and I am thankful for everything that has happened at this time. For the friends I have now, for adventures, for memories, for interests, for the new interesting information and of course for who I have become.
But just because of the thing I got used to, I did a mistake. You can see the quote, right? If your not that oblivious, you can probably guess that it's somewhat relevant to what I'll write.

Even though I wanted something more, I calmed myself down and thought "After September, maybe. Calm down". And so the pressure built and built and it exploded on the end of the October.

• Guitar on Saturdays;
• 2 Choires on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays;
• "Physics club" on Wednesdays;
• The drama club on Wednesdays. 
• Council for Students of Riga. Culture Comittee. 

the things I do at the moment. At first I was pleased. Now I am regretting because I feel the pressure now. I feel that I might explode or go insane.

I don't want that. But I also don't want to leave anything. In such little time that I've spent there, I am too sucked in it.

I'm scared. I want spring. I want freedom. I don't feel it. I feel out of place. I don't know what I'm writting here.

shit.
it shouldn't end on a sad ending, should it?

something postive : while I was walking down  the streets of Riga, I saw a lot of Latvia's flags that people
attached to their clothing. I felt proud.
the V symbolizes the number 11th, as in the 11th of November, also known as Lāčplēša day. On this day, the Latvian soldiers defeated Bermont's army that was much more bigger number and weapon-wise.

is there actually someone that reads this?